What Do You Say When a Friend Miscarries?

What Do You Say When a Friend Miscarries - Large

Coming up with the right words can be difficult after a friend’s or acquaintance’s heartbreaking news of a miscarriage.

Miscarriage is more common than you might think. About 15 percent of diagnosed pregnancies result in miscarriages, usually occurring within 10 weeks of conception.

Beth Esposito, MS, LPCC-S, LSW, of Samaritan Behavioral Health believes simple and straightforward is best when talking with your grieving friend. “Initially, it is best to name what happened and state, ‘I am sorry about your miscarriage.’ It isn't helpful to not be direct and open, and ignore or not name what has happened.”

She also recommends:What Do You Say When a Friend Miscarries - In Content

  • If close to the person, ask what you can do to help. Put no time limit on your offer. Follow through on what you promise.
  • After time has passed since the miscarriage, and you notice that your friend is still not herself, it is OK to inquire. “But respect boundaries. If the person shuts down when asked, honor that.”
  • Send a card or text and let her know you are thinking about her.
  • Never tell your friend you know how she feels. However, Esposito adds, “If you have had a miscarriage, ask her if it is OK to share how it impacted you, what you learned through the process, and what you found helpful.”
“Initially, it is best to name what happened and state, ‘I am sorry about your miscarriage."

Learn more about what your friend is going through during this difficult time.


Beth Esposito, MS, LPCC-S, LSW

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