Nellie's Story

Nellie Haverkos: I have been trying to get pregnant for nine years.  The journey began when I was a teenager and I was told that I had endometriosis and becoming pregnant would be very difficult and possibly unlikely.

Joni Lawson:  I have known that Nellie's had – was going to have problems from almost the very beginning.  Nellie did – she shared everything with me and I think still does.

Nellie Haverkos:  When my husband and I got married, we immediately wanted to have a child.  That was 10 years ago.  So I was seeing a different physician and not having any luck.

Joni Lawson:  When your grown son is sobbing in your arms, there is just not to like that.  It’s horrible, it’s horrible.

Nellie Haverkos:  A dear friend referred me to Dr. Hilkowitz.  And the journey really began when I met her.

Heather Hilkowitz:  I think one of the most important things to impart is even though she came in having this diagnosis of endometriosis, and was terrified that she may never be able to become a mother, I wanted to be very clear with her that that didn’t need to be the case.  There are things that could be done to help her and to get her that baby and family that they have always wanted.

Nellie Haverkos:  From the first time that I met with her, I felt the interaction was different, just I left her office feeling hopeful and heard and she approached me with compassion that I hadn’t experienced before with other physicians.

Heather Hilkowitz:  Oftentimes couples come in carrying one diagnosis and had been told by someone that they can never have a baby, trying to support your patient and be behind them and be able to tell them no, hope is not lost, we are not going to give up, we've got a lot of avenues that we can go here in order to get your body to do what it needs to do and forming that bond with Nellie was one of the most important things that I feel in my career was being able to support her and becoming close with her over 10 years, that's quite a journey to go through with someone.  And she stuck with me all the way and I was never ever ready to give up for her, I knew that if we really persisted, we were going to get that family for her.

When I first met Nellie and learnt about her endometriosis, it was important to find out if there were any other factors that were going to act as a barrier to her conceiving as well.  So we monitored her cycles and looked into some of her hormone levels and lo and behold we were able to discover she has another diagnosis, a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Nellie Haverkos:  Had that not been caught when it was caught, I would be very unlikely to have a child at this point, but I would also be very likely to not have the health that I do now.  So I feel fortunate that she was diligent in exploring everything, all of the variables that could be contributing to my infertility.

So I tried to begin the conversation with her about having hysterectomy, what that would look like and if that was possible for someone in her early 30s, mid 30s and she said unequivocally no.  So I owe her a great deal for that no.

Heather Hilkowitz:  We tried to focus on the positive parts of that that here we’ve gone for years at a time in many cases and not had a pregnancy, yet your body was able to do this, it was able to get pregnant and now we just have to make things more optimal and try to troubleshoot a little bit more and figure out how to make that next pregnancy just the perfect environment to be healthy.

Nellie Haverkos:  And in that moment, she had a whole lot more hope than I do. Dr. Hilkowitz recommended that I continue to seek out a fertility specialist to do a procedure that I hadn’t tried yet.

Heather Hilkowitz:  When you've taken care of somebody for 10 years, you are not only just a patient and a doctor; you really have almost a friend relationship underlying all of that.  I know her really well.  And I have gone through very similar things of what she had gone through and I think that’s what made our bond even tighter and finally getting to the point where her fertility specialist sent Nellie back to me with a 10-week pregnancy and I knew things were going to be okay at that time.  It was just one of the most elating feelings as a physician that I can recall.

Nellie Haverkos:  I could not wait to make a call to Dr. Hilkowitz to tell her that the IUI had worked and we were pregnant.  I think she was pretty excited too.

Joni Lawson:  The whole time Nellie was pregnant, we crossed every body part that we had and I know they do too.

Nellie Haverkos:  We were overjoyed and terrified; we waited a short amount of time to tell people.  When you waited this long to get pregnant, at times you can’t contain yourself.

Heather Hilkowitz:  Nellie had a great pregnancy after going through all of this really horrendous stuff in order to get pregnant.  She had a wonderful textbook pregnancy.  She felt good, her endometriosis for the first time in a decade was completely suppressed and she wasn't having any pain, her bladder wasn’t an issue it was just fantastic to see her feeling so good throughout the whole pregnancy.

Joni Lawson:  I was never so happy when I was sitting in that hospital the Atrium in the waiting room with all those nieces and nephews of Nellie's there, and we were waiting for Nellie to have that baby, that was the best day in my life, the best day in my life.

Heather Hilkowitz:  My husband and I struggled with infertility problems for a couple of years in my younger years and if we had not gone through that process together, I don't know that I would understand as well what my patients are going through or struggling with similar kinds of things.

Nellie Haverkos:  This is Pierce Noble Haverkos.  He was born July 2nd, 2014 on a sunny Wednesday morning.

Joni Lawson:  He has made our family complete, this baby.  Now all of us – somebody said, your family is now together, you know, we were waiting for Pierce to be born, I know we were.

Nellie Haverkos:  Pierce is the dream I didn’t even think was possible.